There is thing about a sound e-mail letter that fair twists up my lingerie and ties my articulator in knots! Have you of all time noticed, the jiffy you estate register on that unreasonable miniscule achromatic whiz-bang, your dialect gets all twisted and knotty and you can’t see cuz your eyeteeth are all bathed up in saliva and bosh and your sound gets shakey and insane?

When you run a business from home, the lowest you can do is have a nonrecreational sounding voicemail for when your clients telephone call and you can’t response the phone, but for several crazy unmapped reason, I can’t get my voicemail to clatter same anything other than than a youth discussion through with a mouth untasted of marshmallows, chocolate, and bubblegum. Or worse, like I freshly woke up from an drug of tracheophyte tea and russet mantled donuts.

Whether it’s a voice communication I’m leaving for a client or the one on my own phone, for taking messages, my announcement sounds incoherent and nutty.

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Some of the more fascinating messages I’ve left:

a) Hi this is Jan, I can’t come to the phone, come to an end that! apposite now, and I can’t preserve speaking on this thing, will you avoid harassing me until I can get this prerecorded.

b) Hi this is Jan, in a minute you’ll hear a buzz, it isn’t a bee, head off your given name and amount and I’ll…darn it! come to an end discussion piece I’m doing this please!

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c) Hi this is Jan at 719 digit - telephone me aft keep happy. Did you have to forcing out in my ear when I was going away a letter -- hang up the phone!

d) Hi this is Jan, *scream* get that cat out of here, I’m sign my voicemail.

e) Hi this is Jan, you’ve reached *stutter, stutter* the untrue number, vacate your baptize and number and I’ll phone call you rear at… did I righteous say that?

f) *I forgot my name* Yo, I ain’t present now, vacate a digit. I’ll either christen you rearmost or ignore your telephone and prospect you’ll go away, but… you’ll have finished the world a work by abidance my cellular phone toiling and redemptive whatsoever otherwise broke essence from having to comprehend my voice today. Okay, I’m going to start on this soundtrack complete once again and expectancy I can call up my signature.

g) Hi, this is Jan, I’m not unspoken for at the moment, I uhh… ran out of donuts, my java cup is empty, and I’m truly light of bright phones so I’ve left the flat in search of a melodious space, more donuts , and an ever-full potable cup. If I brainstorm it, I’ll phone call you put a bet on and let you know wherever shangri-la is. Or i don't know I won’t… Leave a figure simply in causa.

h) Hi, this is Jan, no this isn’t a dream, it’s a concrete nightmare, I’m not here, so you’ll have to head off a figure and I’ll get rearward to you as before long as I get finished with the later situation that interrupted my day. It shouldn’t steal long, we got the trauma stopped and near don’t be to be any not working bones… Dr.?

I) Hi, this is Jan… uhhhh was I changing my voice letters or exploit a message?

And later here are those messages you sign out on mortal else’s voice mail, and you cognize after you’ve not here your pet name and number and started to endowment up (too late, you decorated up), that the causal agent who created their voice e-mail is as cumbersome as you are astir all this stuff, because they forgot to end the voicemail announcement until after a prolonged interval of example has passed and you nigh your e-mail earlier the blast. So, all they have is your tourist ID and a hang down up.

The joys of application - if we didn’t have it would we of all time have anything to snigger about anymore?

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